Hers
by Laney Y
Summary: Julia watches while Spike moves on with his life without her. SpikeFaye, with plenty of bitter!Julia inbetween...


The lyrics are from '_You Oughta Know_ ' by Alanis Morrisette.  Oh yeah... half of this is from Julia's POV. Don't ask… it just is.

**Disclaimer**: *blinks* you mean Cowboy Bebop's _not _mine? Shock!

**Rating:** PG – for like one swear word and "sexual situations"… D

Hers.

_I want you to know, that I'm happy for you_

_I wish nothing but the best for you both_

_An older version of me_

_Is she perverted like me_

Would she go down on you in a theatre 

_Does she speak eloquently_

_And would she have your baby_

_I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother_

Spike Spiegel and Faye Valentine. Faye and Spike.  

She'd never known Faye that well, not _really_, but she'd known Spike.  _Ohh_ yes, she knew Spike.  She'd known him inside and out; his quirks and his smiles and his stupid hair and his personality flaws.  And there were many of those… at times she'd wondered why she had loved him.  But looking into those mismatched eyes one day, long ago, she had seen something in them.  She'd encountered such… emotion behind them.  He broke down her cool stare, her sapphire eyes, her icicle persona; swept her barriers aside as though they were nothing.

She loved him.  He was a drug she became addicted to.  He was _hers:_  He belonged in her heart, just as she belonged in his. Always. That was the way it had been, it was the way it should've been…even after death…

_Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able_

_To make it enough for you to be open wide, no_

_And every time you speak her name_

_Does she know how you told me you'd hold me_

_Until you died, till you died_

_But you're still alive_

Wasn't that right?  Soul mates, she might've thought if she wasn't so jaded towards life in general.  Anyway, they said soul mates would find each other after death.  Whatever happened after you died, reincarnated or heaven, whatever you believe in, you would find each other.  No matter how hard – didn't love overcome all borders?  So they said, anyway.  She had always known that Spike would find her.  Some of the things she'd done… well she regretted them.  Leaving Spike on that day had ranked high on her 'things-most-hard-to-do' list, but she'd _known_ that they would meet again.  It was inevitable.  He loved her, she knew, and when they had met again, even for just a short time, she'd known that he was hers, and they were going to be together.

Things never work out the way you want.

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The tall, lanky man was elbowing his way through the crowd, leaving the smaller woman to fend for herself as she struggled to keep up with him.  She obviously wasn't impressed with him or the situation, her emerald eyes flashing as she grabbed his arm and brought him to a halt.  He told her off sharply and she responded in kind.  Her hands were clenched into fists, her anger giving her extra inches and making her seem taller.  Spike was staring her down, rebuking her complaints with typically smooth retorts.  Already sick of him and his ability to make her so mad, Faye cursed him, huffed, and stormed off into the dissipating crowds.  Spike merely shoved his hands in his pockets.  He looked nonchalant, but he watched her leave with something, regret maybe, in his unmatched eyes.  But, then again, it might have been nothing.

It was like the temperature had dropped 20 degrees back on the Bebop.  Jet, ever the peacemaker between his feuding shipmates, had seen their identical glares, threw his arms in the air and stomped off.  There was only so much he could tolerate; after all - taking care of the ship was hard enough.  He wanted no part of their latest clash; just closed his door behind him to block out the noise.

So as accusations turned to insults, insults became threats and then to every low shameful comment they could think of, Faye threw at him _her_ name.  Desperate for leverage in an endless, stagnating argument, Faye knew that mentioning _her_ name would be the perfect salt in a wound that never healed over.  And in that instant; her eyes widened in panic as she realised she had crossed the line and awoken something best left undisturbed.

Faye had never been slapped before; not by Spike.  In the sudden cold silence between them, Faye looked into the mismatched glare of a madman and unconsciously backed away, wary of him.   Sanity returned.  Regret swept over the fury on his face, but before he could rectify his actions, Faye turned on her heel and stormed to her room before she had a chance to feel sorry for him.

_And I'm here to remind you_

_Of the mess you left when you went away_

It's not fair to deny me

_Of the cross I bear that you gave to me_

_You, you, you oughta know_

Who was this Faye Valentine, anyway?  Julia had heard of her before; the reborn card sharp Poker Alice with a million woolong bounty hanging over her head.  Julia should have figured something was different about her from the start.  After all, the Spike she knew wouldn't have hesitated in exchanging Faye for cash and yet she stayed on the Bebop for free.  How exactly had the wench done it?  She was brash, unkind and rarely even grateful for staying aboard Jet's ship.  From what Julia had witnessed, and heard from rumour, Faye hardly possessed a redeeming personality.  Not the type Spike would even look at twice.  No, Faye wasn't anything like _her_, and _she_ was Spike's type.

But Faye broke her way into Spike's life.  When Julia discovered that there was a female aboard the Bebop, she hadn't taken all that much notice.  After all, Jet Black had a habit of taking in strays, even though rarely skimpily dressed tomboys with bounties on their heads.   And with that attitude, too…

But there were little things about Spike that had begun to change.  Was that a tolerant expression on his face when he looked at Ein?  Did he really just smile at that hacker girl, Ed?  He hated kids _and_ pets, he always said.  But Julia had never minded about things like that… 

What Julia _did_ mind was Faye.  The one time they met, Faye was polite, hell; she was ready to lend a hand in a dangerous situation.  But she felt no respect for the bounty hunter.  Call it a competitive spirit perhaps, but how could Julia feel anything _but_ competitive for the woman who was with Spike?  Now that she could only watch, the more her animosity grew towards Faye Valentine.  Damn her for bringing out feelings in Spike.  Amused or angry or protective or concerned, it didn't matter.  Faye had gotten under his skin, even though he would deny it.  And she was the first woman to do so, other than Julia herself.  Why couldn't she just be content?  She was attractive; she could have any other man she wanted.  So why was she drawing Spike into her web even though she knew Spike belonged to _her._  And why was Spike willingly being drawn in?  How could he even _look_ at someone else but _her_?   

Faye was going after Spike – she could see it as clear as the stars in the sky.  And Julia hated her for it.

Spike was _hers_, dammit, and even though he was alive, he didn't have to be happy about it.

_You seem very well, things look peaceful_

_I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know_

_Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity_

I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner 

_It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced_

_Are you thinking of me when you fuck her_

Faye had a typically scornful expression on her attractive face, but her act wasn't fooling anyone; especially the man she was stitching up on the couch.  Every so often she would make some scathing remark; harsh words completely unsuccessful at smothering her concern for him.  Spike just lay there in acquiescence – this wasn't a rare experience.  Bounty hunting was a dangerous job, after all.  He knew that better than anyone, and so did Faye, which was why she kept repairing him every time he broke.  And she did it without question; no matter how angry they were at each other, she'd always fix him.  Just like he'd get out her out of whatever trouble she found herself stuck in.  It was their way, an unspoken arrangement between themselves. 

Spike watched how her fingers sometimes lingered as she wrapped bandages around the wound in his shoulder.  Her fingers were warm and adept at their task, but it didn't stop an icy chill from slithering down his spine.  He shuddered slightly, and Faye drew away and shot him a questioning look.  Because her hands were warm, Spike slowly reached out his own cold hands and encased them in hers.  She looked slightly startled, but then gave him a genuine smile in return.  It was also a wordless display of gratitude, and he knew how much that meant to her.

_Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able_

_To make it enough for you to be open wide, no_

_And every time you speak her name_

_Does she know how you told me you'd hold me_

_Until you died, til you died_

_But you're still alive_

She watched Faye hunched over her drink in a shadowy corner of the bar.  Maybe she saw the other men eyeing her off; maybe she didn't.  Julia didn't care.  Faye was deep in thought, absenting tapping her glass against the counter.  The converging ice cubes made tinny melodies that in another time she might have enjoyed, but not tonight.  There was a lot on her mind; it wasn't urgent, it wasn't even important.  But the thought of him was weighing her down.  Or perhaps it was that she couldn't _stop_ thinking of him that was weighing her down.  Whatever – it didn't matter.  All she knew was that she didn't _want_ to feel anything for Spike, she just _did_ and there was nothing she could do about it.

She watched Spike stride through the rain, mindless of the soggy cigarette hanging from his mouth.  Raindrops wormed their way through his scraggly mop of hair and trickled onto his already dripping jacket.  But she knew that Spike was unaware of these minor details.  Was that unease in his left eye, or was it just impatience?  It didn't matter.  Spike was searching for Faye.

It didn't take long to find her.  The yellow outfit and red shirt stood out like a beacon in the muted room, and Spike paused for a moment to light his cigarette.  Sitting on the stool beside his companion, he offered her one.  She accepted, of course, but they didn't speak.  There really wasn't anything to say.

She watched as an argument broke out almost as soon as they hit the deck on the Bebop.  If Spike wasn't so occupied with telling her off for leaving out of the blue, he would've noticed that Faye only wanted to make sure he didn't catch a chill from being out in the rain.  She had such care for him even though she hid it well, Julia noted bitterly.  However, Spike was oblivious to this.  For reasons he couldn't quite define he'd gone to look for her that night.

She watched them argue.  She watched Faye advance on Spike, or was it Spike advancing on Faye? It was like a poignant dance… or two enemies circling each other before they struck.  

She watched as Spike caught Faye against the wall, his voice accusing and hers angry in return.  As he caught out her mistake, won this round; he looked down at her, wearing his typical smirk of victory.  And in that moment – they both realised.  Faye drew in a suddenly shaky breath and decided to throw indecision to the winds.  She opened her mouth to say something, but Spike was a step ahead and covered it with his own.

She watched as they were both very still for a moment; then passion ignited between like an electrical storm.  Faye reached up and pulled his head closer to hers, her tongue pressing into his mouth to deepen the kiss.  Spike offered no resistance whatsoever, his mouth hot on hers and his hands running burning trails down her exposed skin.

She watched as Faye moaned his name, nearly yanking at his shirt buttons.  He trailed kisses down to her jawbone and throat, and one long finger trailed a line up her thigh causing her to push herself on him more urgently.  And then she was guiding them towards the couch and they collapsed onto it, Spike on top, gazing down at her thrown back head and her smirking, enticing lips.  Her fingers groped for his zipper and she moaned again as he pressed hot kisses down her collarbone and across her breasts.

Ed poked her head around the corner at one stage, Jet behind her.  He gave the couple a completely disbelieving look, before giving a silent groan and covering Ed's eyes, dragging the hacker back the way they came.

Julia could only watch as her lover, her soul mate, called out someone else's name…

_And I'm here to remind you_

_Of the mess you left when you went away_

_It's not fair to deny me_

_Of the cross I bear that you gave to me_

_You, you, you oughta know_

Spike couldn't get over _her_.  He just couldn't.  There wasn't anything irrational, or jealousy-related about it.  It was matter-of-fact.  The love he'd poured into her, that couldn't be taken back.  You couldn't undo it.   Julia was indignant.  She was angry.  She was pissed off.  And there was nothing she could do about it.  She was only a memory, but she was a memory that demanded respect.  Loyalty.  They should've belonged to each other until the end, like soul mates should be.  But now here she was; left to watch the "other woman" work her ways on him.  And once _she_ succeeded, Julia wouldn't even be a fucking memory.  She wouldn't be anything.  

He was _hers_, dammit.  So why wasn't the memory of her enough for him?

_Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me_

_And I'm not gonna fade_

_As soon as you close your eyes and you know it_

_And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back_

_I hope you feel it...well can you feel it_

Spike awoke with a dry gasp, eyes widened as he jerked upright.  Beads of sweat trailed down his temples and he looked around in a panic.  The dark room was his own; cluttered and in the usual state of disarray.  He lifted an arm to wipe the sweat from his brow, noticed it was shaking.

"Ugh…what?" came the muffled voice from beside him.  He looked beside him to see Faye's heavy lidded eyes blinking up at him as she propped herself up on one shoulder. "What are you doing?" 

He looked at her for a moment. "Nothing," he finally said, laying back down again and resting his hands behind his head.  Whatever had woken him up… a cold chill down his spine, it was gone now.

Faye just gave a loud yawn, opting to let Spike figure it out for himself.

"You're a weird guy Spike, you know that." She remarked with a smirk, now fully awake.  She rolled over on top of him and pressed her lips on his.

He smirked in return as he deepened the kiss, and as her cold hands slipped below the elastic in his boxer shorts; the reason he'd woken up was quickly forgotten…

_And I'm here to remind you_

_Of the mess you left when you went away_

_It's not fair to deny me_

_Of the cross I bear that you gave to me_

_You, you, you oughta know_

Hmm.  I'm not sure what that was.  I think I wanted Julia to be more angry.  And ugh, romance… please excuse weird formatting, it never seems to work the way it should *sigh*

So that was my first Cowboy Bebop fic.  Review? I'd like to know what you's all think.  Criticism, people going "what the hell?" I can take it.  Uhm… I'll love you if you do?


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